I have had what feels like a billion job interviews. I have driven around the state...no ALL OVER the state at the beck and call of several principals. The other day I went to an interview, and they were running late so I got to talk to the women who were waiting. Two were recent graduates like me, and two were not. Of the two that were not recent graduates...one had been a teacher for 8 years in that county....and the other one had been a teacher in SAUDI ARABIA for the past 17! I mean, how do I compete with that? I wanted to turn around and walk out, but I did pretty well in the interview. Maybe if I get lucky someone will want to hire me as a recent graduate with fresh teaching knowledge and 0 experience.....
This has led me to create the resume I wish that I could hand in:
Objective:
To obtain a job where I can earn money only to waste it on a cute wardrobe, fabulous accessories, shoes I’ll never wear, and going out to eat at places I cannot afford.
Education:
All the education I needed came from reality television: Survivor, The Real World, The Real Housewives, Kate Plus Eight, and 19 Kids and Counting
Anything else I know came from reading Southern Living and Paula Deen magazines front to back for the past five years
Professional Experience
Principal for a Day through Accelerated Reader Program-May 2000
•Sorted mail into teacher boxes
•Napped on couch
•Greeted anyone walking into the office
•Canceled homework for the whole entire school
Battle of the Books Team Member-2000-2002
•Memorized facts from stories for competition
•Never part of a winning team
Additional Experience
Head of Recruitment for Gamma Phi Beta Sorority at UNC-Asheville-January-May 2009
•Persuaded girls to rush sorority
•Planned SUPER cute recruitment events
Head lifeguard/Manager at Robinwood Lake-WAY TOO LONG OF MY LIFE SPENT HERE
•Sat in a chair and tanned, collected money every once in a while from customers
•Sprayed Sun-In in my hair about once every five minutes
•Talked with random people and listened to my iPod
Honors
All of my Girl Scout Badges-way too many years of my life
Girl Scout Silver Award-2003
School Spelling Bee Champ-2000
2nd Most Accelerated Reader Points (SHOULD HAVE BEEN FIRST)-2001
Most Likely to Wear Red to a Black and White Only Event(Gamma Phi Beta)-2008
Most Spirited Sorority Sister-2008 AND 2009!!!
Most Likely to Accidently Destroy the World (Gamma Phi Beta)-2007-My personal favorite
Skills
Shameless gossiping
Texting faster than you can type
Always finding something to talk about
Talking in general
Blogging
Googling
Facebook Creeping
Things that I have considered doing:
And, if I could get this where it said UNC 49ers, I would order it. And wear it with pride:
PS-thanks to Renn, I am now addicted to Pinterest. If you are on Pinterest, leave me a comment so I can follow you!
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